Infidelity is a seismic rupture in a relationship, often leaving partners grappling with a maze of emotions and uncertainties. It’s a territory that prompts tough questions about the future of a relationship. Understandably, the aftermath of infidelity is a complex labyrinth of feelings and decisions.

If you’re faced with infidelity in your relationship, you’re not alone in your struggles. From grappling with the aftermath to considering the future, here are some insights into common queries that arise when dealing with the aftermath of infidelity.

Surviving Infidelity FAQ…Should I Stay or Should I Go?

 What Percentage of Marriages Survive Infidelity? 

Infidelity is a powerful marital stressor, but not as destructive as you might think. Research shows that 60-80% of marriages survive infidelity.

• How Long Does a Marriage Last after Infidelity?

Your nervous system will probably resolve most of your triggers in about 2 years after discovery or disclosure of the affair.  The quality of your couples’ counseling and your commitment to overcoming infidelity will determine your ultimate progress.

• Should I Leave After Infidelity? 

Deciding if you should leave afterwards, or when to walk away after infidelity should be unique to your experience. A toxic or abusive relationship has no room for growth. Evaluate your circumstance. Marriage after infidelity has its challenges, but if you feel respected and heard by your partner, and are committed to the relationship, it can be possible to overcome.

You should be able to answer one big question.

Is this infidelity the problem, or is it a symptom of a greater problem?

If it is a symptom of a greater problem, then you have the choice to use this as a wake up call, and work on your relationship together. In time, this experience might even be your relationship’s turning point. But, if anything, it is best to spend some time apart, not just to get some distance, but also to remind your partner that you do no need them, and you are capable of leaving if they do not treat you respectfully.

But sometimes, there are people who, regardless of how loving and attentive you are, still cheat. Some people simply want different things, and they are not compatible. If this is the case, then stop trying to fit a square block into a circular hole. Loving someone deeply is not enough if they do not return the favor, and leaving them to have the solitary life they secretly want might be the best decision you ever make. Maybe this person needs you, but needing someone is not the same as loving someone. You deserve to be loved.

• Should infidelity end a marriage?

Divorce statistics after infidelity are relatively high. In the United States, roughly 20%-40% of married couples experience infidelity. Whether infidelity should or should not end a marriage should be a decision made by the faithful partner.

Infidelity could even be a good thing in a relationship because it serves as a wake up call to deeper problems in your marriage. Ask yourself if those deeper problems are fixable, and worth fixing. If you are committed to the relationship enough to overcome this, then it will be possible for both of you to build the love up again.

If you take some time apart, you think, relax, look at the situation objectively, and conclude that (a), your problems are not fixable, or it is not worth the effort it will take to fix them, or (b) your relationship was fine, healthy, and loving, and he or she still cheated, then it might be time to walk away. If this person cheated when you were both doing fine, then their reaction will only be worse when the going gets tough, and in this life, you’ll want an emotionally intelligent partner who you can rely on.

• Do you really love someone if you cheat on them?

Committing infidelity is an act of breaking trust. It is very difficult to claim love when infidelity is present. If love was once present, it can be rebuilt, but in the moment infidelity is directly contradicting that said love.

• What percentage of marriages survive infidelity?

Statistics after infidelity are more favorable than probably expected. It can be difficult to rebuild trust. That said, divorce statistics after infidelity show that more than half of marriages survive the infidelity. In a heterosexual relationship, it is more common for the marriage to survive if the male partner is cheating, and less likely if the female partner is cheating.

• How do I deal with anxiety after infidelity?

Communication in any relationship is key, but especially in a relationship that is working to rebuild the foundation of trust. It can be difficult to figure out how to toggle navigation. If you chose to stay with your partner, make sure you have set clear boundaries for yourself, and your partner. If you are deciding when to walk away after infidelity, and feel the pressure of that decision, talk to a friend or loved one. You don’t have to do it alone.

• Does infidelity pain ever go away?

Infidelity pain can resurface whenever there is a feeling of distrust. If you do not know when to walk away after infidelity, take that pain into account. Is it something you can overcome with your partner? If not, that is a good indication of when to walk away after infidelity.

Do not worry. Your pain is valid, and normal.

• How do I restore Intimacy After Infidelity?

If you’ve found enough reasons to stay, and would like to restore the marriage after infidelity, intimacy can seem daunting. Talk to your partner, and maybe decide on some changes you can make together in your romantic life. If you cannot picture the relationship going back to the way it was, change what you do for the future.

Should Infidelity End a Marriage?

The decision to continue a relationship post-infidelity isn’t straightforward. Sometimes, infidelity serves as a stark reminder of deeper issues within the relationship. It might catalyze a much-needed change, steering the relationship towards healing. However, it’s crucial to assess whether these issues are fixable and if both partners are committed to the recovery process.

On the other hand, if infidelity occurs despite a loving and nurturing relationship, it might signal a fundamental mismatch in values or needs. It’s essential to acknowledge that loving someone deeply doesn’t guarantee reciprocity. In such cases, respecting oneself and choosing to move away might be the ultimate act of self-care.

These are only some of the complex queries and emotions that surface after infidelity rocks a relationship. It’s a journey that demands introspection, honest communication, and a genuine desire for resolution. Each relationship is unique, and the path to healing and resolution varies. Recognizing the nuances and complexities surrounding infidelity can be the first step toward navigating this challenging terrain.