Winter brings change: the weather, the holidays, and for some, the "winter blues." This can be especially difficult to work through and it may be hard to know the best way to support your partner struggling with changes in mood and energy levels.

What are some ways that you can show your partner that you are there for them during these transitions?

We asked our team for their biggest tips to supporting your partner through the winter blues and here is their advice.

If you are aware of your partner's winter "blues", take the time to carve out a private moment. Sit down face to face with your partner and check in with how they are managing. Listen to your partner, ask questions to learn more about their response, and then ask if there is anything your partner needs.

Listen to your partner without judgment. Make sure your partner knows that talking with you is somewhere they can feel safe and able to open up, and that no matter what you won't judge them. They should be able to feel comfortable and unafraid to be vulnerable with you. 

If you notice your partner's mood changing, ask them about it. You might say, "I noticed you are looking sad today. Has the weather got you down?" Or you could say, "I remember you feel blue during the winter, how are you feeling this year?" Asking your partner how they are doing lets them know you are paying attention to them and that they are a priority to you. It also offers an opportunity to support them by just being there to listen or to sit with them quietly.

Surprise your partner with a cup of tea. Tell your partner you will walk the dog or ask them to go for a long, brisk walk. Listen and empathize with what they are experiencing, and daydream together about what they can do in the Spring.

Make time to walk together for at least 20 minutes. Getting exercise together gives you a chance to get some fresh air and movement, and a time to talk that will be uninterrupted. 

Show empathy first. Assuming the relationship isn't toxic, initiate Oxytocin-producing engagement, such as laying down with them, holding them, asking if you can put on music the other (preferably both) enjoys. You might consider starting a vitamin D and Omega-3 regimen together (if not already present). Ask when would be a good electronic-free time that the two of you could have together daily. Ask your partner to join you on errands on a sunny day, to walk with you, or help you with a physical chore.

The greatest gift we can give our partners is our undivided time and attention. We so often forget how important and valuable we are to our partners. They need us to be present, to tune into them, and to truly care about what they have to say. Being supportive means putting the phone down, stepping away from the dish-washing, and sitting down, eye-eye to be fully present.

Come up with a surprise adventure. Take time to plan something fun and adventurous with your partner and bring some excitement into their life. Keep in mind what they feel comfortable with and what you can enjoy together. 

Use the "blues" partner's identified love language to help with co-regulation. Make sure that they feel that love from you in the way they need it most, and can count on you to give them the support they're looking for.

Stop hiding your relationship insecurities. Talk about them with curiosity. Don't assume or blame. Share them with your partner as a comment on your worries and fears, not on their hidden deficits.

The "winter blues" can cause stress on a relationship, and this can be especially true if you aren't sure how to support your partner through this challenging time. The changes in routine, the changes in the weather, and overall different time of year can take it's toll on people, and that may include your partner.

Trying out these tips can help ensure a smoother winter season, and show your partner that you are there to help. Looking for a little accountability? Consider working with one of our relationship coaches.

Ready for a change in your relationship?

It starts with a no-obligation 15 minute phone call with our client services team.

Jessica Hufnagle


Jessica is Co-owner and Director of Couples Therapy Inc. She has a background in psychology and in organizational behavior and is a certified life coach. Jessica works behind the scenes to bring the wisdom and experience on the Couples Therapy Inc clinical team to couples all over the globe. 

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