Should you be choosing a male marriage counselor near you or a female counselor in your area? In choosing a counselor, the marriage and its needs take first priority.
When selecting a couples therapist, there are certain factors to consider, with gender being one of them. Generally, women are more likely to be more accepting of intense emotions than men, however this does not always apply.
It is important to keep an open mind when making this decision. In the broad scheme of human interaction, women are socialized to be more comfortable with strong emotions than men.
But we are wise to remember that this remains an overgeneralization, particularly as it relates to couples counselors who are trained to work with emotions.
Regardless of gender, the ability to be comfortable with emotion is something that is learned from one's family. Women may be more inclined to express strong feelings, but this is something that can be passed down from generation to generation.
Your family dynamics can have a greater influence on how comfortable you feel expressing yourself emotionally than your gender. If your father was more expressive with his emotions than your mother, you may prefer to share your feelings with a male therapist rather than a female.
When to choose a male couples therapist
Assuming that your primary requirement is science-based couples therapy, there are certain situations when deciding on gender balance counts. You may want a male mental health professional for couples counseling.
No need to debate this point. Sometimes gender matters.
Visit ManTherapy.org for a humorous take on the very serious subject of making psychotherapy accessible to men. They work with groups like firefighters, police officers and emergency rescue personnel to treat depression, anxiety, anger, and substance abuse to cope with the high rate of suicide in men in various states across the USA.
Here's an overview of the campagn with "therapist" Rich Mahogany:"
Here are some examples of why you may want to choose a male therapist:
Partner refuses to accept a room that feels like gender inequality.
It can be intimidating for men to seek counseling, particularly when there is a female therapist involved. There is a fear that the therapist will take the wife's side, causing the man to feel outnumbered and uncomfortable. To counter this, a man may want to work with another man on resolving conflict.
Therapy sessions are looked upon with suspicion.
Some men look upon therapy itself as "unmasculine." He may be reluctant to show his more vulnerable feelings without a strong male role model. A male marriage and family therapist, especially an older and more senior counselor, might be an excellent choice to model these communication skills.
Gendered clinical issues
Certain relationship struggles, like stonewalling and passive-aggressive conduct, are typically done by men. A well-practiced counselor raised male can often be more helpful to male clients when it comes to reflecting on these issues since they may feel less judged.
History as boys and girls, men and women.
If you have a strained relationship with your dad, it could be incredibly beneficial to talk to a male psychologist. Doing so can help to heal past trauma and negative thoughts about men. It can also give you the ability to form more meaningful relationships with other men in your life, regardless of your gender.
Literature suggests that most men prefer to talk to a woman, and others prefer a man. Some men want to speak openly long-term to another man about sexual concerns. Others feel safer in the short term talking to a woman.
If you are a man wanting to improve your relationship around intimacy, reflect on whether you would feel more open about talking to a male or female therapist. Gender equality might not be an issue for you, or it may be an essential factor to weigh.
Modeling healthy relationships for men
A male couples therapist is typically understanding and dependable, setting an example of emotional openness and security for their male clients. They understand the unspoken rules many men use when expressing their feelings and are well-equipped to help guide them through difficult conversations.
A male therapist might be able to provide a different perspective than a female therapist. This could help a husband better understand you and your relationship. The therapist could provide guidance on effective communication skills, offer advice on how to handle disagreements better, and provide insight into the dynamics of your relationship.
Additionally, a male therapist might be able to provide unique insight into how men perceive relationships and the challenges they face, which could help the person better comprehend your relationship.
Modeling better ways women can relate to men
A man practicing counseling can offer you insights into how you can more effectively establish a connection with your partner. They could provide assistance in bridging the gap between you two and creating a more meaningful bond.
You are a gay couple
I have worked with male couples who preferred to work with an experienced woman because, for them, I was the best fit. Other couples want a therapist who shares their sexual orientation and is openly gay or lesbian. Being out and identifying as an LGBTQi+ therapist was more important to them then gender.
Science-based marriage counseling works.
An essential factor in choosing a qualified male marriage counselor is to select one with science-based training and specialized experience. Make a shortlist of potential therapists and check your gut.
At Couples Therapy Inc., we require a brief phone interview to see if you are comfortable getting started. When selecting a couples therapist, there are certain factors to consider, with gender being one of them.