I need to tell my husband something really awkward and kind of embarrassing, I am worried about how he will respond. I'm too embarrassed to even write the details here so can you just tell me, how should a wife approach a difficult subject with her husband when she knows he's going to be really disappointed.

Do it sooner, rather than later.

Pick a time when he is fed and not exhausted. Ask if you can talk. Make sure you won’t be disturbed by kids and silence your phone. Preface it by apologizing for not telling him right away and how emotional it has been for you that this has happened.

Take a deep breathe. Then tell him. 

Allow it to sink in. 

Do NOT say excitedly: “I’m sorry! I’m sorry I’m sorry!”

Let him ask questions and answer them candidly. Leave out no details.

End the conversation when he does, and if he is upset, allow him to have his moment. You’ve had yours.

If he does walk away upset, let him know you are here for him if he has other questions.

Now, when all the questions are answered, look into his eyes and apologize sincerely. Then ask for a hug and tell him you love him.

And don’t wait, the next time a “Regrettable Incident” happens. Waiting compounds the problem. 

Life is full of mistakes and you’ve just made a big one. Accept all of his feelings as valid and then, hopefully, move on together.

Hope this helps!

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Dr. Kathy McMahon

Dr. Kathy McMahon (Dr. K) is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist. She is also the founder and president of Couples Therapy Inc. Dr. K feels passionate about couples therapy and sex therapy and holds a deep respect towards those who invest in making their relationship better. She is currently conducting online and in person private couples retreats.

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