In this post, we’ll take a closer look at the Secure-Secure attachment combination, which is the most common attachment style seen in attachment-based couples therapy. We’ll discuss the key characteristics and dynamics of this combination and how it fosters a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

When a partner has Secure Attachment, we mean it is their dominant style. It’s not a guarantee that they will always behave that way! Here are some common patterns where both partners have Secure Attachment.

Secure-Secure attachment combination

When both individuals in a relationship have secure attachment styles, it forms a strong foundation for a healthy and fulfilling partnership. These are “textbook” happy couples. It is estimated that 50% of all attachment styles are Secure Attachment. It is the most common attachment style seen in attachment-based couples therapy. Some key characteristics and dynamics include:

  1. Open communication: Both partners feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings, and needs without fear of rejection or judgment. They listen attentively to each other and can validate each other’s experiences.
  2. Trust and reliability: There is a high level of trust between them. They can rely on each other for support and have confidence that their partner will be there for them in times of need.
  3. Independence and autonomy: While they value their togetherness, they also respect each other’s individuality and autonomy. They encourage each other to pursue personal interests and maintain a sense of self.
  4. Emotional availability: Both partners are emotionally available and responsive to each other’s needs. They are attuned to each other’s emotions and provide comfort and support when necessary.
  5. Conflict resolution skills: They approach conflicts with a healthy and constructive mindset. They can communicate openly about disagreements, seek compromises, and find solutions that work for both parties.
  6. Intimacy and affection: They feel comfortable being vulnerable and intimate with each other. Physical and emotional affection is freely expressed, creating a more profound connection.
  7. Shared goals and values: They share an understanding of their long-term goals, values, and priorities. This alignment helps them navigate life’s challenges and make critical decisions together.
  8. Flexibility and adaptability: They are adaptable and flexible in their approach to life’s changes and challenges. They support each other through transitions and are willing to adjust their plans as needed.
  9. Sense of security: Both partners feel secure and valued in the relationship. They have a strong sense of being loved and accepted for who they are.
  10. Mutual growth and development: They encourage each other’s personal growth and development. They celebrate each other’s achievements and encourage each other during times of self-discovery or change.

Overall dynamics:

  • In Secure-Secure the relationship tends to be characterized by a strong sense of mutual trust, emotional intimacy, and a supportive environment for each partner’s individual and shared growth.

Conclusion

Couples with a Secure-Secure attachment combination enjoy a strong foundation of trust, emotional intimacy, and mutual support. This combination creates an environment that promotes personal growth and shared happiness. In the next post, we’ll explore the dynamics of the Secure and Anxious attachment combination.