A Private Weekend for Christian Marriage Retreats
Are you looking for a Christian marriage retreat to heal and repair your marriage? Our intensive marriage retreats blend principled Christian approaches with a science-based knowledge of what makes a marriage work. Our minister has advanced training in this type of marriage counseling and has experience in conducting this work intensively over a weekend or midweek.
Dr. Doug Burford
Christian Counseling Kansas City
Dr. Doug Burford is a minister, certified spiritual director, and authorized facilitator of two Gottman Institute workshops. He has advanced training in the Gottman Method and in Couples Christian Counseling intensives.
Dr. Doug Burford is an ordained minister with a Master of Divinity from Princeton Theological Seminary. He's also a Doctor of Ministry from Talbot School of Theology, Biola University, a Licensed Professional Counselor (#2682), and has advanced training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. He and his wife have been helping couples for decades. Doug holds his Christian Marriage Counseling Retreats to couples across the USA.
What are Christian Marriage Retreats?
Christian Marriage Retreats aren't just retreats led by those with Christian beliefs, or familiar with biblical teachings. Quality Christian Marriage Retreats require both exceptional skill in marriage counseling, as well as graduate training in understanding the trials and tribulations of being married (within a biblical tradition).
We offer private Christian Marriage Counseling in an intensive Christian Marriage Retreat format.
Christian Marriage Retreats through Couples Therapy Inc. combine almost 6 months of weekly sessions, into one intensive retreat. Beginning traditionally on Friday nights for two hours, these retreats continue from 9:30 am - 4:30 pm on Saturday and Sunday. Christian marriage retreats offer the opportunity to be with someone who is knowledgeable about biblical teachings, as well as highly trained in the neuroscience of couples therapy.
These privately held retreats are one-couple per counselor for the entire weekend. The focus is to bring back the love, devotion, passion, and intentionality of your marriage and prevent divorce. These retreats are held all over the USA. Christian focused retreats are offered in the Midwest in Kansas City.
An Outstanding Choices for a Private Concentrated Christian Marriage Retreat
Do you have irreconcilable differences? These don't have to result in painful arguments. You can empathize and support each other, even when you don't agree completely. You don't have to persuade your partner to think and act as you do. Nor do you have to prove that you are right, and they are wrong. You can learn to see things through each other's perspective and learn valuable lessons from each other.
Christian Training + Marriage Counseling Training
Some counselors can have strong religious beliefs. Others have excellent therapeutic training. Dr. Burford has both training which enables them to weave these two threads together. We offer exceptional couples therapy to all couples, regardless of religion, faith, or creed.
However, we can help couples with a strong Christian faith integrate their religious tradition within their marital lives. This clinician is well-equipped to do just that. A highly trained couples therapist who can integrate the biblical teachings of Jesus Christ.
Gottman's Science-based Language & Biblical Language
Dr. Gottman began his research in 1972, in collaboration with Dr. Robert Levenson. He's observed over 3,000 couples in his research lab. He videotaped them talking about pleasant topics, and areas of continuing disagreement. He monitored their heart rate, blood flow velocity, and sweat output, recording moment-by-moment changes. Endocrine and immune function measurements were also obtained, all to understand the success rate of happy couples who were not seeking counseling. He used science to demonstrate age-old biblical teachings about human nature and relationships.
Gottman found that 96% of the time, the way a discussion starts out predicts the way it will end. If you bring up an issue in a harsh way, there is only a 4% change that it will right itself.
Although seen occasionally with all couples, harsh start-ups are highly predictive of divorce when they are prevalent.
Colossians 4:6 "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."
Proverbs 15:4 "Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit."
Philippians 4:5 "Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near."
Fondness and Admiration
Gottman emphasizes ways to actively enhance fondness and admiration in a relationship. How you look upon any particular interaction is going to impact how you respond to it. Is your spouse a loving, caring force in your life? Are they trying their best, or are they trying to take advantage of you? Are you grateful or resentful of their efforts to influence you and the direction of your family life?
We teach this to couples in our ongoing Christian Couples Retreats and in Christian Counseling Online.
Proverbs 16:24 "Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."
Song of Solomon 41:15 "How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh how beautiful. Your eyes are like doves beside the streams of water, bathed in milk and mounted like jewels. Your hair is like a flock of goats streaming down Mount Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of newly shorn sheep coming up from the washing; each has its twin, and not one is lost..."
Turning Toward Instead of Turning Away
"Little connections often." Turning toward is subtle, and learning what to do to reconnect, when these small daily connections are missed, creates loving bonds. When one turns away or against these small bids for connection, partners are left lonely and isolated. Gottman refers to these as "deposits" or "withdrawals" from the Emotional Bank Account.
Thessalonians 2:8 "So we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well."
Romans 12:10 "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."
Stress Reducing Conversations
One aspect of Turning Toward is a daily exercise called 'Stress Reducing Conversations." It allows the couple to discuss outside stressors and get comfort from each other. It has been scientifically proven to reduce relapse.
Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."
Philippians 4:14 "Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles."
The majority of problems couples experience in a marriage are perpetual. They are never going to evaporate. For this reason, Gottman refers to the need to "manage" marital conflicts and not "resolve" them. Learning how to dialogue about different perspectives with amusement, respect, and affection is the key.
Ephesians 4:2 "Be patient with each other making allowance for each other's faults because of your love."
2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient; for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Sexual Intimacy and The Marital Relationship
Dr. Doug Burford works with married couples who have engaged in practices that are accepted in popular media but turned out to be damaging to relationships. These actions have left wounds. He believes these wounds can be healed, and the truth behind the joys of married intimacy discovered or restored.
A healthy marriage is also about valuing instead of invalidating the ways we are different. We can have different ideas about our shared lives and still help each other be our best selves. Couples learn what are vital to a growing marriage.
Dr. Burford is an ordained minister through the Christian and Missionary Alliance at Colorado Springs, Colorado. He obtained a Master of Divinity from Princeton Theological Seminary, Princeton, NJ.
He held three Presbyterian pastorates in quite different settings, adding breadth to his experience.
"Sex is depicted as exciting outside of marriage and boring or non-existent within. That needs to change." - Dr. Doug Burford
Ask us about our special pricing for ministers, rabbis, pastors, active missionaries and those in similar religious callings.
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