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Your Inbox Intensive

By Couples Therapy Inc.

Module 10 – Appreciation and Thanksgiving

Keep your momentum going at home after the intensive with this exclusive program for Couples Therapy Inc’s retreat couples. Start with a self-assessment, review an important lesson for relationship health and finally, determine what your next steps should be.


The Inbox Intensive relapse check-in

This Relapse Check-in can help couples assess and prevent relapse and understand how to seek additional intervention if relapse occurs. Please give your frank evaluation of the following items by selecting either “doing fine” or “a problem now” for each item.

Start The Check-In

Start the check-in

Please give your frank evaluation by selecting either “doing fine” or “it’s a problem now” for each statement below.

Communicating regularly


Appreciation and Thanksgiving

Appreciation and Thanksgiving

One key value that the Gottman Method embraces is the notion that removing negative interactions doesn’t automatically fill a couple’s relationships with positive interactions. Both positive and negative interactions stand alone.

Many couples find that they seldom fight and are polite to each other, but the marriage still lacks passion, vibrancy and joy.

The goal of appreciation and thanksgiving is to remind each other (and yourself) of what you already have in your relationship rather than focus solely on what’s missing. The goal is to increase the amount of praise and appreciation that is expressed in the marriage.

To keep it going past this intervention, list all the things you admire about your partner. Memorize it and say it to yourself each day. Pick a new and flattering nickname for each other and discuss what works. And at least once a day, express genuine appreciation for something your partner did. What does your partner add to your life? Make a point to touch your partner (both verbally and physically) in a purely affectionate manner.

Lesson at a glance:

  • When relationships are going poorly, people lose sight of the positive aspects of their partner.
  • Read through the list and select 3-5 adjectives or qualities that you think are characteristic of your partner.
  • Recall a specific time or actual incident that illustrates this characteristic.
  • Take turns to share one from your list.
  • To respond, just say: “Thank you.” Then the listener chooses one.

Downloadable Resource

The 7 week plan

This printable guide outlines a different focus for the next 7 weeks. Spend some time each day working on these items.



Is it time to schedule a follow up session?

If you haven’t already scheduled follow up sessions, our staff can help you to plan your next appointment.

Don’t forget:

Schedule some quality time

Do you and your partner have some time on the calendar for each other? Make sure you have a date night planned.


Appreciation and thanksgiving

This is our last module but this exercise takes you through a plan for the next 7 weeks.

We’re here to help

Have a question about this exercise? Looking for more information about follow up sessions? Send us a message, we’d be happy to help.


This was the last module in your inbox intensive. The next email that you will receive from us will have some additional options for follow up. You can start the email sequence again, request weekly reminders, or pause reminders entirely. Look for an email soon and be sure to review all of these materials as needed.

Previous modules