As a clinical psychologist specializing in couples therapy, I’ve seen firsthand how challenging long-distance relationships can be. With more couples living apart due to work, education, or other life circumstances, maintaining a strong connection has become increasingly difficult. But what if there was a way to bridge that physical gap and create shared experiences, even when you’re miles apart? Recent research suggests that virtual reality (VR) might offer an exciting new tool for couples to stay connected and keep their relationships thriving.
A fascinating new study by Balzarini, Sharma, and Muise (2024) explores how VR can be used to facilitate self-expansion in romantic relationships. But before we dive into the findings, let’s talk about what self-expansion means and why it matters.
The Importance of Self-Expansion in Relationships
Self-expansion theory suggests that we’re naturally drawn to experiences that broaden our perspectives and help us grow (Aron et al., 2022). In relationships, shared novel and exciting activities can create opportunities for self-expansion. These experiences help couples:
- Ward off boredom
- Maintain relationship quality
- Feel closer to each other
Traditionally, self-expansion activities might include things like trying a new hobby together, traveling to an unfamiliar place, or taking a cooking class. But what happens when couples can’t physically be in the same place?
Enter Virtual Reality
Balzarini and colleagues (2024) conducted two experiments to test whether VR could simulate shared novel experiences for couples. Here’s what they found:
- Novel vs. Mundane VR Experiences: The second study compared couples who had a novel VR experience (a gondola ride through the Swiss Alps) to those who had a mundane VR experience (sitting on a virtual porch). The couples in the novel condition reported more self-expansion, which in turn was associated with less boredom and greater closeness.
2. VR vs. Video Chat: In the first study, couples who had a novel VR experience together (a virtual hot air balloon ride) reported feeling more “present” with their partner compared to couples who watched the same experience over video chat. This increased sense of presence was linked to greater self-expansion, less boredom, and higher relationship satisfaction.
What This Means for Long-Distance Couples
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, these findings offer some exciting possibilities:
- Shared Adventures: VR could allow you to “travel” together, even when physically apart. Imagine exploring ancient ruins, diving in coral reefs, or walking on Mars – all from the comfort of your own homes.
- Novel Date Nights: Instead of just video chatting, you could meet up in a virtual environment for a unique shared experience. This could help recreate the excitement of trying new things together.
- Increased Presence: VR seems to create a stronger sense of being “with” your partner compared to video calls. This could help you feel more connected during your virtual time together.
- Combating Boredom: Long-distance relationships often struggle with monotony. Novel VR experiences could inject some much-needed excitement and variety into your routine.
Practical Tips for Incorporating VR into Your Relationship
While VR technology is still evolving, here are some ways you might start exploring its potential:
- Balance with other forms of communication: Remember that VR shouldn’t replace other important aspects of long-distance communication, like phone calls, texts, and video chats.
- Invest in VR headsets: If you’re financially able, consider purchasing compatible VR systems for both partners.
- Explore multiplayer VR apps: Look for applications that allow for shared experiences, like virtual travel or games you can play together.
- Schedule regular VR dates: Set aside time to meet up in virtual environments, just like you would for a physical date.
- Be creative: Think outside the box about how you might use VR to create novel, exciting experiences together.
A Word of Caution
It’s important to note that this research is still in its early stages. The studies by Balzarini et al. (2024) were conducted in lab settings with relatively short interactions. We don’t yet know how VR experiences might impact relationships over the long term or in real-world settings.
Additionally, VR shouldn’t be seen as a replacement for in-person interactions. When possible, physical time together is still incredibly valuable for relationships. Think of VR as a tool to supplement your connection, not replace other forms of intimacy.
Looking to the Future
As VR technology continues to advance, we may see even more possibilities for long-distance couples. Imagine haptic feedback that allows you to “hold hands” virtually, or fully immersive environments where you can interact as if you were in the same physical space.
While we’re not quite there yet, the research by Balzarini and colleagues (2024) offers an intriguing glimpse into how technology might help us maintain and strengthen our most important relationships, even when distance keeps us apart.
For long-distance couples struggling to stay connected, VR could offer a new way to create shared experiences, combat boredom, and foster closeness. As we continue to navigate an increasingly globalized world, it’s exciting to see how technology might help us bridge the gaps and keep love thriving across any distance.
References
Aron, A., Lewandowski, G., Branand, B., Mashek, D., & Aron, E. (2022). Self-expansion motivation and inclusion of others in self: An updated review. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 39(12), 3821-3852.
Balzarini, R., Sharma, A., & Muise, A. (2024). Virtually Connected: Do Shared Novel Activities in Virtual Reality Enhance Self-Expansion and Relationship Quality? Behavioral Sciences, 14(x), 1-23.