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The Power and Benefits of an Immersive Marriage Intensive

The power of the marriage intensive

For improving relationships and growing personally, a marriage intensive or marriage counseling retreats has become a powerful tool in the marriage counselor's arsenal.

Intensive marriage counseling typically lasts 2-5 days, while 2.5-day intensive programs are most common. Licensed professionals lead these sessions and ground them in evidence-based methodologies. They provide couples the opportunity to address specific issues such as:

  • strengthening emotional connections
  • resolving long-term regrettable incidents
  • enhancing communication skills and
  •  jumpstarting their journey toward a healthier, more fulfilling partnership.


Read on to learn:

  • the benefits of a marriage intensive retreat
  • we'll explore how it can be a good fit for married couples seeking to tackle challenges head-on and
  • discuss four types of couples' problems we frequently see in our marriage intensive.

Why intensive marriage counseling?

A marriage intensive is a focused, multi-day couples therapy experience. Couples choose it instead of attending weekly sessions. It provides couples with the time and space to address their specific issues.

  • Marriage intensives offer rapid therapeutic progress.
    Attending a weekend condenses months of therapy into days. This accelerated approach can be a relief for couples seeking quicker results or in high distress. The thought of drawn-out weekly therapy can be overwhelming. 
  • Experience uninterrupted momentum.
    The continuous momentum in intensive sessions, which last multiple hours, fosters more powerful progress compared to traditional 45-minute sessions. In regular sessions, time is spent on settling in and wrapping up, leaving less time for actual counseling. In an intensive, one hour builds on the next one. A skilled couples counselor knows how to pace this progress.
  • Couples are busy and find committing to weekly work challenging.
    Busy families find it challenging to commit to weekly therapy. Balancing kids, pets, careers, and schedules is tough. Marriage intensives offer a succinct getaway, making it easier to plan around life events without a prolonged weekly commitment.
  • Greater choice. Less restrictions.
    With intensive weekend therapy, you can access experts outside your local area. You can choose a specialist. You’ll have greater flexibility in choosing a professional that suits your particular situation. Even online options are limited due to state licensing restrictions.

Choose a specialty therapist

Experienced marriage counselors possessing exceptional clinical skills are best at facilitating this marriage intensive retreat. The goal is to create a supportive environment where couples can engage in consecutive days of counseling sessions. Intensives are a deep dive into problem-solving, emotional connection, and building a foundation for a stronger relationship.

  • Does one of you have ADHD?
  • Are you neurodiverse? 
  • Practicing ethical non-monogamy? 
  • Suffer from sexual problems or 
  • Have sexual integrity issues? 

You can locate a specialist for most unique situations.


In the "endless fight" intensives

...disagreements escalate quickly, leading to exhausting arguments. Both are unable to break free from a cycle of endless negativity. Constant tension harms both physical and emotional health, often causing the end of otherwise happy marriages.

The benefits of immersion

Unlike traditional couples work, immersive couples intensive therapy retreats offer continuity and momentum that encourages full engagement with the process.

By spending concentrated time focused on their relationship, couples can break free from the distractions of everyday life. Instead of the gaps of weekly visits, intensive retreats enables the ability to:

  • cultivate a deeper connection,
  • explore thoughts, feelings, and events in greater detail,
  • enhance understanding, and
  • learn how to discuss and problem solve around challenges.

Intensives are particularly effective for couples facing specific issues, such as communication breakdowns, trust issues such as affairs, or navigating major life transitions.

a couple enjoying wine at a marriage intensive

Choosing the right retreat

When choosing a marriage counseling intensive, find one that matches your goals and values. Researching options for "intensive marriage counseling near me" is a good starting point. Then refine your search to look for the location of your choice, the skill level of the therapist, and the date that will work for you.

Look for retreats led by licensed professionals with years of experience in working as a couples therapist. Additionally, consider the specific offerings of each program, ensuring they align with your goals for the retreat.

Evidence-based approach

Marriage intensives often draw from evidence-based approaches. However, no one type of training, even the famous Gottman Institute, is enough for this work. Ideally, we recommend a certified therapist with advanced training in several science-based approaches. These mature clinicians have extensive experience handling this challenging counseling modality.

These methods rely on extensive research and have proven to help couples create better, happier relationships. Couples can feel confident using the techniques they learn in an intensive therapy retreat by practicing with these tools and strategies. Both partners become familiar with this learning over days, not a single hour, and can apply it once home.

Tailored to your needs

Therapists can customize immersive therapy retreats to meet your specific needs. 

Couples choose intensive marriage counseling for a personalized approach to their relationship. Extensive assessment is essential beforehand. Armed with this information, the therapist crafts the retreat's content. The goal is to align interventions to fit with the relationship's unique strengths and challenges.

The emotional connection

At the heart of any successful couples counseling is the ability to enhance a solid emotional connection. But opening and being vulnerable to one another takes time--often longer than a single therapy session. Emotions can run high in couples therapy, and during couples intensives you'll have the time to learn how to regulate your emotional responses. The readiness to process past hurts arise naturally, and with the right support, progress can be made. You will learn how to sustain a deeper emotional connections.

A jump start for your relationship

For many couples, immersive couples intensives serves as a jump start for their relationship. It provides the momentum and direction needed to initiate positive change.

Continuity and progress are hard to duplicate in 12-26 weeks of traditional therapy. Couples can leave the retreat feeling renewed and with a clear plan for their future. You'll dedicate time, effort and resources to reach your goals.

Types of couples issues addressed in a  marriage intensive

1. Emergency marriage counseling

You are on the verge of divorce, and crucial issues are impossible to discuss. You love each other, but no matter what you've tried, including weekly marriage counseling, nothing has helped. You believe that your marriage is hopeless and you feel helpless to change your situation. 

Why intensives works:

Feeling "hopeless and helpless" is, surprisingly, not a good indication of whether your marriage can be turned around. Research demonstrates that highly distressed couples are in a cognitive bias cycle that keeps them stuckCouples counseling intensives allow you to understand the science behind this bias, and exactly how to change it. You'll get to the heart of the matter in a single weekend.


2. "The regrettable incident" intensive

A regrettable incident can be many things. You may think first about an affair, but there are many other types of betrayals.

  • It might be the private information you shared with someone else that deeply wounded your husband or wife.
  • It might have been when you sided with a friend or relative against your spouse. 
  • Your partner may be mad about a decision you made without talking it through. Even though you both disagreed, you made a unilateral decision anyway.

Why intensives works:

Learning how and why to listen to your partner's distress around regrettable incidents is crucial to success in these intensives. Defensiveness is often an interfering force. Resentment and anger can lift and friendship restored in this work.

3. The "Everything is fine" intensive

Some couples take pride in their conflict-free dynamic, considering it a blessing compared to struggling neighbors. Yet, beneath the surface, there's a quiet disconnection. The spark of true joy, passion, and vibrancy is absent, leaving a sense of staleness.

These couples do not feel entitled to their misery. They convince themselves they are expecting too much from the relationship. They want to revive the enthusiasm and passion that eludes them. They are determined to learn what is wrong and fix it.

Why intensives work:

Never fighting is not all it's cracked up to be with the Masters of Relationships. Learning how to express differences and free yourself of annoyances you've kept to yourself for years. Expressing complains effectively and learning that it is safe to discuss even emotionally charged issues is a powerful bonding experience.

4. The "endless fight" intensive 

Both partners in this marriage suffer from relentless conflict and deep hurt from the constant hostility. Every word you utter is taken wrong, with the worst possible interpretation. No goodwill exists between you, and neither gives the other the "benefit of the doubt."

Disagreements escalate quickly, leading to exhausting arguments. Both are unable to break free from a cycle of endless negativity. Constant tension harms both physical and emotional health, often causing the end of otherwise happy marriages. An intensive therapy retreat gives you the time and practice to learn practical skills to navigate conflict.

Why intensives works:

There are concrete steps to take to learn how to fight and break the endless cycle of negativity. Your couples therapist can spot the Four Horsemen in your marriage and teaches you how to stop the destruction. Couples are delighted by how much progress they can make when they learn the science.


Conclusion

A marriage intensive format has not existed for a long time, and experts are developing new interventions. Intensive marriage counseling is effective for not only relationships but personal growth and change as well. Couples can use these immersive experiences to heal, grow, and improve their emotional connections. They can focus on specific issues or target a fresh start.

Marriage intensives can change relationships by using proven methods and personalized approaches. They give couples the tools to create a better and more fulfilling partnership.

At Couples Therapy Inc., we have advanced Gottman-trained therapists to facilitate this work. All are seasoned professionals with expertise in evidence-based methodologies like those championed by the Gottman Institute.

*Please note:

Couples intensives, designed to provide focused support, is a tailored service that can be wonderfully beneficial for select couples. 

However, if one of you has little motivation to work on your marriage in a sincere way or is questioning divorce, couples therapy isn't the approach for you. 

In that case, our client services representative may suggest alternative services. If you have started the retreat, your therapist may recommend switching to discernment counseling at any point.

Your willingness and interest in examining your contribution to the state of your marriage is vital. Your desire to improve your relationship is essential for this work to succeed. Active participation leads to success in couples therapy. Doubt and ambivalence about whether you want to stay in this marriage are better served in discernment counseling. If you already know you want to divorce, mediation or divorce counseling is best.

Both of you must be open and willing to change.

Couples therapy (including Gottman Method and Emotionally-focused Couples Therapy) does not work with the following: 

  • domestic violence,
  • as suicide prevention,
  • with personality disorders, and other untreated mental illnesses or 
  • alcohol and drug abuse that requires in-patient care.

In these situations, seek professional individual mental health services. Finding a mental health professional with specific training is your best option.

We were disconnected emotionally and physically.

"We were both harboring years of hurt caused by the other. We desperately needed therapy regarding communication, sex and intimacy.    

We found Couples Therapy Inc online and were impressed by your website - the mission of the company, the promptness of response and help when we reached out, and the outstanding reviews of the therapists and their work. 

We chose to fly halfway across the country to see the therapist we had selected and felt comfortable proceeding with. I was worried that the cost to fly there, stay there, and attend the intensive would be too great for such a short time, but thankfully, it was worth it."

Do it for yourself.
Do it for each other.

Schedule a complimentary consult with our team and start on
your path to reignite your relationship.

Copyright 2023, Couples Therapy Inc.