Free courses

Is discernment counseling right for you?

Lesson 9 Chapter 1 Module 2

It’s sometimes called “pre divorce counseling” but if one of you is definite that you want a divorce, no question about it, this form of counseling isn’t for you. If one of you is seriously contemplating divorce, or if you are a couple on the brink, this isn’t the time to “work on the marriage.” 

That time has passed.

But if you have lingering doubts about whether getting divorced is an intelligent move, you’ll want to slow down and give it some serious thought. Have a place where the professional sees both of you short term, individually and briefly together. It’s for mixed agenda couples deciding to divorce or not.

Divorce is an impactful decision. It’s a decision only each of you can make, and it’s an important one. 

In other words, it is a time-limited approach to help you to judge your marital options well, especially if you are seriously contemplating divorce. 

Make sure that marriage counseling isn’t a waste of your time and money. But also make sure you aren’t jumping the gun and getting an unnecessary divorce.

Remember: it takes 1 person to divorce and 2 people to agree to work on a relationship. It takes 2 motivated partners for couples counseling and only 1 motivated partner for discernment counseling.

Discuss together...

  • Is discernment counseling a good option for you?
  • If you have decided to seek discernment counseling (vs. couples counseling) be sure to communicate that with your therapist and make sure this is a type of counseling that they are prepared to offer.