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A final note from Dr. K

Lesson 18 Module 4

A guy calls calls us and says: “Tell me about your services. I want to use my insurance, I hope it won't cost me.”

Daniel, who answered this particular call, begins to explain that most health insurance doesn’t cover Couples Therapy.

The guy interrupts him, and in a snarly voice says:

“I don’t believe you. It’s bad enough I have to pay a co-payment…”

Fortunately for the guy, Daniel knows where to go with him:

“I’m sure you can find some therapist who takes your insurance. But be aware that they’ll only see you for 45 minutes, and that’s not proven to be effective couples therapy.”

He may have just given the guy the best (free) advice he ever got. Maybe he can save the co-payment and just step away from the relationship.

It wasn’t a matter of money; the guy made that clear. It was the fact that he has paid for this health insurance and he just couldn’t accept the fact that he couldn’t use it for help with his troubled relationship.

And saying in a sense that Daniel was lying to him was another clue to why this guy isn’t our client: He would only accept his own version of reality.

He couldn’t accept that his version of reality wasn’t the only one out there.

Now imagine how this plays out in Couples Therapy:

Him: “I’m going to the game this weekend with my buddies.”

Her: “But wait, this was the weekend you promised we’d go visit my parents. I’ve already called to arrange it.”

Him: “No, you never told me that. I don’t believe you. I’m going to the game with my buddies, and you can do what you want…”

In contrast to this guy, our clients respond with interest to the news that their health insurance in all likelihood, may not cover their treatment. They ask questions to figure out how this new information fits with their current understanding. They care about how they’re coming across to their partner and to strangers who they ask for intimate help.

They don’t say: “I don’t believe you.”

They say: “That’s a surprising revelation. Can you tell me more?”

I’ve asked Daniel to devise a quick way to get off the phone with these types of people because they don’t accept influence, and right now, he’s needed to talk to the people who do.

Like the woman who called later that day and said: “I’m looking for the best therapist I can find…”

That’s our client.

We wish you the best in your search for the right couples therapy solution for your relationship. If we can answer any questions for you, please reach to our admin team or send us your questions using the form below.

Thank you for your time, your attention, and your consideration.

Warm regards,

Dr. K